fervidity | video || second chances

[The recent post made by WTF (or WoTF) has finally prompted Kushina to make an entry again, addressing this world at large and the people in it. Or at least those that can see this.

First, a deep breath.]

I don't know if anybody has been thanked for all the effort, for putting their lives on the line to save this world by those of us who don't remember how bad it was. There were people who made this place better for everyone and went back in time. It still sounds ridiculous to me and kind of impossible but this world is good at making impossible things possible, isn't it? [Like bringing people back to life.

Minato was good at it too. Space-time and doing impossible things.]

So... thank you. [At the end, her voice nearly cracks and she bows her head before lifting it again.

Now. Her smile is sad.]

It seems like we can go home soon, huh? That's good. We should go home because that's where we belong. Even if we have a choice to stay, we should go home in the end. So many people have fought for us to do just that. They're still fighting. If we don't go home, isn't it just like scorning those people and all their efforts? Isn't it forgetting who we are?

Don't be so selfish about wanting to stay here. There's a million other people in different timelines and worlds that don't. You should all work hard too to overcome your weaknesses so you're not stuck here anyway. There's people who do want to go home but they're going back to a place worse than this. Because it's home! Even if it's going back to their own death or being alone!

Even if it means losing everything here that is precious...

[A long, pregnant pause and Kushina finishes with a question after shaking her head a little.]

How many of you were given a second chance by being here?

[She closes the journal immediately after.]

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You don't. But there's usually a reason for it. Like staying with someone you love, or... something else. [Being afraid of death.] It's rare to want to live for the sake of living.

[A pause.]

At least in my world.

...to be honest, I didn't always used to think this way. Before I came to Luceti, I thought I couldn't live unless it was for some purpose or use. [Because he was so easily replaceable. Or so he thought.]

But after everything that's happened here, I've come to see that there's nothing inherently selfish about wanting your own happiness. So something as simple as wanting to live, even if just for the sake of living... it couldn't possibly be selfish.

[Nothing inherently selfish. Then why did she feel so guilty about wanting to stay with Minato and Naruto and everyone she's met and grown to care for? Because being with them would mean her happiness.

Shouldn't that mean it was selfish? She doesn't know.]

So not even for a goal or a dream?

Well... when you put it like that, I suppose I do have a goal in mind. Though I wouldn't consider it to be the reason I want to stay, so much as a side-effect of staying. I'd like to make it to 20, if I could. I'm already 18 now, and I never imagined I'd be here as long as I have been...

[He'd be an adult at 20. He never thought that would happen either.]

[Yeah. This... this is why it's hard to believe that going back is the right thing. It is though. She knows it.

Someone dying so young.]

How long have you been here?

[She's more subdued now.]

It's been almost five years now. I've been sent back once in that time, but only for a few months.

[It's weird, thinking how long he's been here. A few more years, and he'll have lived here longer than he was alive on Auldrant.]

What about you?

[Not nearly that long.]

A little over a year.

[...]

Five years is a long time.

Edited 2015-01-21 01:17 (UTC)

It is... but perhaps it's because I've been here so long that it's easier to accept the idea of living here indefinitely. Even with everything bad that's happened here, I consider Luceti to be my home.

Of course, I also think it's possible for someone to have more than one home. That's something else I've learned from the people here.

[Therein lies the problem.]

Do you think it would be indefinitely?

I'm afraid I don't have an answer to that. But just because we don't know doesn't mean we should give up on the possibility.

[They managed to change the entire history of this world not even two months ago -- in a place like this, it really did feel like anything was possible.]

Besides, I don't think our friends would want us to feel as though we have to give up on our future for their sake.

[No, they shouldn't give up. Kushina just finds it hard to believe in.]

I'm not giving up my future. I'm giving up my happiness and that's my decision to make.

video || second chances

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